I can count the number of times where I’ve felt completely defeated on one hand, such as receiving the news of family members getting cancer, or more recently, getting robbed. It was less about the monetary value of the items taken, but rather, an inability to back up all of the photos from the stolen phone that I’ve hoarded since high school - places, people, and things I’ve loved, lost, and learned so much from. All that I’ve been able to recollect and reminisce on as a chronic documenter, was through browsing old photos on my phone. How now am I supposed to remember anything, ever?
Stripped of fleeting mems in an already mercilessly fast-paced life; for a brief second I thought of grandma, and wondered if this was the physical (digital, to be technical) equivalent to memory detoriation in a black mirror-esque way, and felt an ache of sadness and understanding.
Then, in true Winnie nature, I thought of how, aside from the obvious lack of luck, if this was realistically a sign to be more aware of my surroundings, to pay more attention - go out less and stay sober (?) to remove myself from unideal situations in the first place, and still try, despite adversities and the worst luck in the past few months, to be a better person today than I was yesterday. Letting those dark thoughts of, ”I’m NEVER taking any pictures again! What’s the point?” slowly subside, and instead, to take it easy, and look up from my phone, and relish in the little moments that make life bearable. Like the lady at Best Buy who shouted, “Winnie Chen? I LOVE THAT NAME!” in genuine excitement, as I was picking up a new phone case, or hearing the right things at the right time, like “Everyone is given a certain amount to deal w in life,” from The Daily podcast, or coincidentally stumbling upon the Pictionary celebrity I was paired with, performing at the Hollywood Improv, wondering if he’d recognize us and pick on us, sipping on water in the front row.